


Sub rosa

by Angelscythe



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Crack fic but still Angst, Flashbacks, Gen, Hurt & Comfort, I REGRET NOTHING, I fell in love with this ship, Kingdom Hearts III Spoilers, Lot of stupids theory, M/M, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre-Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep, Sorry Not Sorry, Young Eraqus (Kingdom Hearts), Young Eraqus and Xehanort, Young Xehanort(Kingdom Hearts), you will never stop me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-05-20 20:25:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19384066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelscythe/pseuds/Angelscythe
Summary: Since Xehanort has come back from his Worlds Tour, he's visited by awful Nightmare and obscurs flashs from the past but... he has not a single memories of them as soon as he wake up.Something is hidden within those unreachable Nightmares.Something graver that they could imagine...What if Eraqus' Light couldn't reach Xehanort?What would reach him and save him from a Dark path?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!!!  
> Thank you for your interested for this fanfiction!!  
> I'm sorry, I have dislexia and english isnt my native language so I'm sorry if you find mistakes and gramatical errors.
> 
> (This is actually the first time I post a fanfiction without having finish to write or being close to the end since some many years and I hope I'll be able to provide a lot of chapters!!)

Screams echoed in the night.

Eraqus jumped in his bed, his heart hammering so fast in his chest. The screams didn’t stop. What was happening? His breath was still messy and he couldn’t calm himself. But the shriek still echoed and he had to move!

He pushed back the blankets and realized his Keyblade had appeared in his hand…

Something grave must have happened!

He ran toward the screams, still on the edge, still scared. He burst in the room where the screams were slowly vanishing, letting place to loud sobs.

In the huge bed with soft sheets, there was Xehanort, curled up and sobbing, tears rolling along his cheeks.

“Xeha’?”

Eraqus let vanish his Keyblade and dashed to him, taking his shivering body in his arms, pressing his head against his.

“Huuuush,” he said, rocking him slowly. “Everything is alright,” he added, rubbing his hand along his back.

But this couldn’t stop Xehanort’s sobs.

Out of the blue, the door slammed open on a heavy and threatening silhouette. Eraqus made a gesture to let his Keyblade appear… but he recognized his Master, only wearing a sport bra and a G-string above her large muscles, her auburn hair messing on her huge back.

“What’s happening here?” she asked, her own Keyblade in her hand.

“It’s nothing, Master, Xehanort just had a nightmare.”

“I’m doing one right now,” he said, glaring at his Master.

The woman walked to them and grabbed Xehanort by the ear, tugging so strongly he was almost rip out Eraqus’ embrace. “What are you saying, wuss?”

“Aaaah! Nothing! Nothing!”

“It seemed so, yeah!” She let go on his ear and folded her arms, the Keyblade vanishing. “So, what’s happening?”

“I just did a Nightmare,” Xehanort replied, rubbing his ear.

“About what?”

The poor young man shook his head what brought a groan. Of course. Their Master always said to them it was important to remember every dream they had because dreaming was a very special key in their training. They were about to reach the Mark of Mastery but if he wasn’t even able to control his own dreams, he could never master the power of waking.

“Master?” Eraqus asked in a clear but tiny voice.

She looked him and nodded firmly before leaving the room. Eraqus got up and pressed a kiss on Xehanort’s forehead.

“I’m coming back,” he said with a soft voice.

Then, he got up and followed his Master, closing the door and… then moved away. Because the woman was talking really loudly and if he didn’t want Xehanort to hear their conversation, he better just be sure he wouldn’t hear anything.

“Do you have any idea what those dreams means?” Eraqus asked.

She shook her head.

“Last week, I thought he was just whining for nothing, not daring to say something to me because he was afraid this would ridicule him. As if he wasn’t already enough ridicule!”

“Master…” Eraqus muttered.

“I don’t know what’s happening. But we’ll have to deal with it,” she replied, firm.

Eraqus just nodded.

He couldn’t say otherwise to her anyway…


	2. Coming through the night

 

 _“My guess is no one’s ever loved you before. Because you know_ nothing _about hearts and love. You’re hollower than any toy.”_

_Those Words still swirled in his head._

_Those Words had so much impact on him he kept hearing them echoes again and again. He couldn’t push them away. He couldn’t clear his mind._

_“Why don’t you send us in our World?”_

_Xehanort turned slowly his head to the toy at few paces from him._

_“Why are you even still here?”_

_“Who are you… a policeman?” Xehanort smirked._

_“I’m a sheriff. It’s quite the same.”_

_Xehanort walking toward him._

_“You can say whatever you want, empty puppet, but you have no handcuff, no gun… just dreams to shatter in the wind. You’re nothing, toy.”_

_“I mean for someone!” Woody replied. “And you…”_

_“Me, I’m a hollow Vessel, isn’t it?” he said, approaching him. “No friends, no Light, no one to love me. Do you think I see it as a problem? There is nothing in this World but Darkness. I don’t need anyone to love me, I…”_

_Xehanort went quiet when he noticed the hand held out to him._

_Woody Pride, toy of Andy Davis, who had thrown those words in his mind, making swirl endlessly a voice, just held his hand to him?_

_Like that?_

_How dare he?_

_How…_

_“You don’t have to turn your back to a possible love, Xehanort.”_

_“Which love?”_

_Woody gave him a confident smile._

Xehanort pressed his fingers against his lips, his arms and his whole body shivering. Tears were rolling along his cheeks. He could feel the strange memories of a soft kiss on his lips but he couldn’t remember anything and it was so painful. It hurt him to the core, making him silently beg for his Heart to be soothed.

By another kiss like that?

He somewhat wished that those memories become way more than just… memories. Especially because those memories couldn’t be his.

And why did he wake up yelling and screaming all the time and couldn’t remember anything. He bit his lower lips and pushed his silver hairs out of his face sparkled by sweat. He got up and walked toward the door. His hand twitched but swirled around the knob. He opened it slowly.

“… ge pain in my ass and, believe me, I know what I’m talking about!!”

“Uh… Master…”

“Don’t you dare comment!” she said, harsh.

“Y… Yes. But…”

Xehanort peaked a bit more by the door, his hand shivering and his wet forehead pressing against his door.

He wanted to burst out and ask for a hug to Eraqus. And, on the other hand, he felt so dumb… he was adult now. Since few weeks but still. Sometimes, he didn’t felt adult at all and yet…

Instead, he was just watching as his friend, with his long dark brown hair so messy and filled with tangles surrounding him as a cloud; his eyes lined by dark circles and so much worry in his face. Still in underwear, their Master’s face was most close than ever.

“Do you think something went wrong when he was in pilgrimage?” Eraqus asked. “I don’t know why…”

“Yes,” she cut short. “And what? You both expect I’ll hold your clammy hand forever?! No! Men up and do what you’re supposed to do! You’re supposed to be the next one to deal with the Order between the Worlds! No, I won’t hold your hand forever!”

“But something happened, Master and I’m worrying. I wish…”

“I know, I know,” the woman sighed, once again harsh.

She moved out her hand and pushed her finger in Eraqus’ chest.

“And what? I told you you couldn’t go with him. You’re not an adult yet!”

“You said at first…”

“Can’t change my mind?!” she snarled. “You know better than me?! You’re a child, Eraqus! Just a stupid child! That’s why you stayed here and that’s why you’ll learn even more before leaving! And maybe, yay, you’ll come back like him! Wouldn’t be surprise. Once you’ll leave your sweet sweet cocoon, you’ll understand what life is! It happened to him, it’ll happen to you!”

Eraqus looked down, his fists clenched.

“I don’t think he didn’t know this yet. When we found him on this Island…”

“Yes, yes, yes! He talked about something bigger, something more! You did a mistake when you whined to me to adopt him as if he was a stray puppy!” The woman made an awful sound with her mouth. “And a puppy would have been better educated,” she said before spitting in a plant next to them.

“He just needs someone to stay with him and to love him. We all need it…”

Xehanort pressed his hand over his lips when he heard those words because it echoed strangely in him.

“You’re wrong. You’ll see it soon enough. There is nothing like ‘love’ to save you. The only thing you can do is recover your balls rolling on the floor and fight for what is right, Eraqus! Now, fuck you and go cry with Xeha’ in his bed, I gonna sleep. Scream only if you’re about to be killed and can’t manage to save your own damn life!” she said, as she moved away.

“Master…” Eraqus said under his breath.

But he was too afraid to call her back.

Too afraid of the punishment that could come after…

 

Xehanort saw his comrade coming back and he quickly moved back to his bed. He slid under the covers and rolled to the side. He heard the sound of the door as it closed and soon the mattress sank a bit as Eraqus joined him.

He felt a hand on his shoulder but just pretended to sleep.

A kiss landed on his cheek.

“How much did you hear?”

“How do you know?” Xehanort sighed.

“You were sat in your bed and I can’t see you just go sleep when Master Rokami is ready to kick my butt. So, I can guess you spied.”

“Maybe but I would have heard everything anyway because Master yells so loudly!”

“Yes!” Eraqus laughed.

Xehanort rolled on the side, pushing his back against the mattress. His friend moved a bit and pressed on his elbow to look him in the really dim light coming from the Stars outside.

“But tell me… What happened when you left for your Worlds Tour?”

Xehanort didn’t reply.

“You’ve changed since the day you came back. Don’t you remember a think? Not even a little bit?”

“I’m sorry. I can’t remember anything,” he said. “I wish but… It’s like I saw nothing. Visited nothing… I know time passed but…” Xehanort looked his hands. “I can’t remember.”

“It’s grave. You should talk about it to Master Rokami…”

“You would?” he replied.

Eraqus rubbed his neck, making swirl his long hair. Xehanort pushed those who flew in his face with a slight smirk.

“I certainly won’t.”

“Though you tried.”

“Yes. But she doesn’t want to hear anything…” Eraqus replied with disappointment.

On one hand, he was happy they have a rough Master that could lead them correctly to the right path and learnt them to face anything they would encounter but on the other hand it was really hard. They couldn’t turn toward someone when they had problems. Eraqus had left home and never saw his parents since the day they let Rokami take care of him and Xehanort didn’t even remember them. He always said that he was alone on this tiny island, living by fishing and picking up fruits…

“Don’t waste your time,” Xehanort replied. “I just suppose something happened and my mind tries to erase it.”

Eraqus sat in the bed out of the blue, concern and shock marking his face. “Don’t tell that as if it was nothing!”

“But…”

“No ‘but’!! If your mind try to erase something, that’s not nothing. You’re in shock and you scream every night!”

“What do you want to do?” Xehanort replied, sitting too.

“I…” Eraqus looked down. “I don’t know,” he confessed.

He bit his lower lips and watched his friend. They were together since so long and he did so much for him. He kept playing with him when nobody approached him because of his strange color of hairs; he kept training with him because for longtime, Xehanort had really a lot of struggle to keep up the courses… Now, he was worry because Xehanort was also the one who played the knight when he learnt that Blue Blood was running in his veins, being sure that no one will annoy his friend and doing his best to always be supportive. He was the one daring and now… now, he was the one afraid. Eraqus hated himself because he weren’t there. He should have insisted and be sure to stay with Xehanort. But… could he have beaten the Monster that was now lurking in Xehanort’s mind?

Could he walk through this test when time will come?

He wasn’t sure at all…

“I can sleep with you, at least!” Eraqus offered with a big smile.

“You’re an Angel,” Xehanort smiled.

“And so you’re an Imp!” he laughed, as he was gathering his long and messy hairs into a bun.

Xehanort pushed him on the bed and Eraqus protested with a tiny moan before giving him a bump with his elbow. His friend landed beside him.

“Don’t play it like that!”

Eraqus pushed his shoulder with his hand. Xehanort still has eyes closed and the other young men frowned.

“Xeha’?” he wondered. “You okay?”

They were strengthening their bodies but… he couldn’t be that strong! Maybe his friends had been hurt where they didn’t know? That plus the extremely hard training provided by their Master…

“Xehanort?” he asked, bending on him.

He bent a bit more, moving his fingers to the side of his neck so he could check his heartbeat.

At the moment his skin brushed his… he was suddenly knocked out, throw back and letting out a moan.

“Traitor!!!” he let out.

And then laughed.

He was wriggling under the tickles.

“Please, please, stop!” he laughed. “Pleaaaaase!”

Xehanort let out a diabolical snicker and tickled him more.

“Please!”

He was breathing with difficulties as he was laughing too much. And so, laughing too, Xehanort let go on him.

“You’re stupid,” Eraqus said, out of breath.

“Yeah!”

Eraqus pushed him a bit then he lied in the bed. He could feel that their Master Rokami will appear the next second if they didn’t calm but on the other hand, he just wanted to see his best friend smile.

He just wanted to be sure Xehanort will be happy and he swore he’ll do his best to have him always happy.

As much as he could.


	3. Something new

**_ Chapter 02 : Something new _ **

 

“Sorry, sorry!”

Eraqus came out of his room, tying his hair in a bun.

“Don’t worry,” Xehanort replied.

After all, if Eraqus didn’t have slept in his room, he wouldn’t have to go in his own room to grab his bag, change his clothes and try to have some decency with his general look. There, it seemed that he hadn’t the time to wash and comb his hairs since so long. After all, his mane was really long, abundant, and it could become extremely messy very fast.

“We’re ready!”

“Hmmm…” Xehanort smiled.

“What?”

“You’re sure you’re ready?”

Xehanort tapped on the snatch of his bag, hanging on his shoulder. Eraqus frowned then facepalmed.

“My bag!”

He immediately ran back to his room and grabbed his satchel. He came back and let out a tiny ‘tadaaaa’ with a smile.

“Perfect!”

“Perfect!” Xehanort replied. He placed his hand on his hips. “My Lord, if I may offer you my arm?”

“Thank you, dear!”

Eraqus grabbed his arm and walked next to him as they left the corridor and then this aisle. It was empty and they could only hear the sound of their pace. At this time of the day, all the room were deserted because everybody… was already at school. They just had to go in the other aisle of the gigantic building. There, a lot of rooms were set to hold twenty to fifty teenagers or young adults who followed diverse lessons. Either they received language, mathematic, diplomacy, history… or they have to follow training with the Master that chose them when they were only children.

Well, for most of them.

They walked a big quicker and when they arrived in front of the room awaiting for them, everybody was already into it. The room was just slightly open but no one was in the corridor anymore. So yes, unless there was an accident and everybody had to set sail, it just meant the classes had already started.

“Damn…” Eraqus said under his breath.

Xehanort shrugged and grabbed his hand, tugging him in.

“I’m sorry for being late,” he said as they walked toward their usual place.

He could feel the stare but didn’t care. He installed next to the windows, forcing Eraqus to follow him. His friend sat in silent and took out his stuff from his bag, still in silent. He could feel that a lot of looks were turned toward them. But didn’t say anything.

“I see everybody is there,” the teacher said with a harsh tone. “So we can continue. But, Eraqus, Xehanort, you will come see me when this class will be over. You will have more homework to do. And have to learn about decency and punctuality. Don’t forget to arrive on time at your next class.”

“Of course,” Xehanort replied in a fake sugar-coated tone.

“We’re very sorry for being late,” Eraqus replied.

The teacher didn’t reply, taking back the control of the lesson. She started to give the information and Eraqus wrote the lesson down on the notebook.

This teacher was always talking so fast and he couldn’t take the risk to let the precious knowledge slip from their hands.

Xehanort took out his own belongings but he didn’t feel like he could take notes. He still wondering what was wrong with him. Did their Master know what was happening for her to not care that way? No… No, their Master was really harsh and it was quite rare she cared at all. Unless about what she liked! Don’t ever start talking about ice cream next to her or you would have to buy some to calm her hunger!!

 

 

“Thank you, everybody. You can leave. Don’t forget to read the novel, I may do a test the next time,” the teacher said with a harsh tone but a smile on her lips.

“Yes, Ma’am!” the students replied.

Xehanort stared the teacher.

At his side, Eraqus put his stuff in his bag and didn’t fail to notice it.

“Stop it. You will have problem,” he whispered.

“We weren’t that late and we will be late for the next class.”

“Don’t say that. Don’t be that dark and pack your bag or we really will be late.”

Eraqus felt a bit bad because it was his fault. He had wanted the best for his friend and he just made them late. And Xehanort still felt a bit… ‘not here’. But… he could only understand. After the events, the Worlds Tour, his Nightmares…

Xehanort put quickly his belongings into his bag and pushed his best friend in the back.

“Go. Save me from her annoying voice if you love me!”

“You’re mean!” Eraqus replied with a little smile.

He walked around his friend and quickly went to the teacher, busy to erase the blackboard…

“Ma’am?” he asked, pressing his hands on the desk.

The woman just glanced at him. She noticed that Xehanort was grabbing his friend’s bag. And so she waited. Eraqus was mildly annoyed. Of course they would be late and that will be a chain reaction…

Eraqus could have pressed his friend but… he didn’t feel it.

Xehanort climbed down the stairs, the two bags on his shoulders, and walked to his friend. He bent over him.

“Is it good?”

“No, it’s not _good_ ,” the lady replied. “You have to learn how to be punctual and decent. We are your teacher and you have to give us respect,” she said, her eyes black and piercing.

“Yeees and no,” Xehanort said. “I have no reason to own you respect. Especially because you’re making us lose time and so, being rude to our next teacher. That’s quite stupid.”

“Xeha’,” Eraqus mumbled.

“Such disrespect isn’t allowed, Xehanort. I hope you love chores.”

“I love them,” he replied.

“So you will have a lot,” she said.

“Fuck! You are here! Why aren’t you at your stupid lessons? You’re making them lose time, assholes!”

Eraqus turned his head toward his master Rokami and all he wanted was to facepalm really hard and disappear in the ground. Maybe he could retrieve his bag before she noticed Xehanort was carrying it for him?

“Yes. That’s what I was saying to Miss.  We arrived thirty seconds late and now we’re losing time,” Xehanort said.

“Aniek, stop pissing off my Babyqus and my Babynort or you will touch a Keyblade for once!” Rokami said, stepping in the room, approaching the teacher. “And by touching I mean get stabbed!”

She snapped and pointed out the exit to the young men.

“You two, get the fuck out, I’m talking with your teacher now!”

Eraqus grabbed his friend’s hand, tugging him to the exit and they walked out.

“Wait for me,” she shouted.

“Y… Yes…”

But Eraqus’ words were swallowed by Rokami’s anger.

“Can’t you shut up Aniek?! Thirty seconds late?!”

Xehanort leaned in the opening of the door, smiling. Widely.

“They are late. That’s not because Eraqus…”

“THIRTY SECOND LATE?!”

Xehanort let out a little chuckle.

“Xeha’….” Eraqus whispered.

“What? For once, it’s not us,” he smiled.

“I know, but…” his friend said, taking back his bag.

Xehanort couldn’t help but smile even more. He exactly knew why his dear friend did that…

Eraqus was slightly pouting, when their teacher was becoming tinier every second because it was hard to talk back to Rokami… Xehanort folded his arms, smirking more as he realized the others students were arriving and could discover the whole situation.

It was a big lucky break for them to have their ruthless Master coming to help them but they couldn’t hope it often.

But it was still pleasant to see that teacher having a bad time after having annoyed them…

“Master… You see… they have classes?”

“Classes?! You prevent them to go in class with your stupidity! And what? Your stupid lessons won’t teach them how to stay alive when they’ll protect you,” Rokami said. She spat on the floor.  “You piss me off,” she added to Aniek. “Come on, the babies!” she added to her apprentice when she arrived outside.

The both of them immediately followed her and Xehanort smiled a bit more when he heard the shaking voice calling the students. Eraqus was a bit annoyed because of his friend’s bad behavior.

As they were walking in the corridors, Eraqus couldn’t help but frown.

“Where do we go? We have…” He was trying to choose correctly his words. He didn’t want to have his Master’s anger cast over him. “… classes?”

“No, you don’t!! Something happened and I prevail over your classes. Learning those math and geography won’t help you!”

“Well… that help to know where the Worlds are placed if we have to go there,” Xehanort pointed out.

“That change all the time! You have something else to talk back, Babynort, Princess Eraqus?”

“Pr…” the almost adult hiccupped.

“You think I didn’t see Xeha’ was, again, holding your bag!”

“But…”

Xehanort couldn’t help but laugh. Eraqus gave him a hit with his elbow.

“Don’t laugh too much! You’ll be his horse one day!”

“Eh! I can carry him around,” Xehanort replied.

Rokami hit him on the skull. “Don’t!”

“Roh…” Xehanort groaned, rubbing his head.

The lady had really too much strength…

She steal led them and they arrived outside. They walked to the big court where they used to train. It was the place dedicated to Rokami and so set as she asked. She had five students here. Xehanort and Eraqus counted in… for the age she has, it was pretty little, in fact and maybe the setting was helping to understand why?

Here, there was training tool in every different shape, a tiny river and… stains of blood everywhere. It dried with the time and air, seeming not to be able to disappear. Some of that blood belonged to them, a lot was Rokami’s because, as skilled she was, she was still able to bleed… especially when she trained too much.

And there, you could also see a little wall at a few paces from this place. It was tiny, almost destroyed and they often rest themselves there to drink a bit when they didn’t just fell on the floor on place…

On this little wall, there was a man with long blond hair perfectly combed and a beard correctly shaped and groomed. He was reading a book and a bag was just next to him. In said bag, there was a tiny toy.

Both looked at this man, seeming to be thirty, way older than them and having a toy?

Both could only think how much Rokami could tease him about that.

But…

Xehanort moved back and approached his friend. He wanted to ask him something but just held it back. He couldn’t ask him if he just saw the toy moving his eyes. He was sure to have seen the eyes moving toward him…

It wasn’t possible.

It was a toy.

Just a toy.

But his Heart was tightened…

It was so strange…

“Eraqus, Xehanort, I introduce you to your new comrade… Yen Sid!”

“Isn’t it late to become an apprentice?”

“Shut up, Xehanort! I remember you, you were too old too!” Rokami said.

Xehanort folded his arms. But the man was really old in comparison. There, he just supposed Rokami had been forced to have him or accepted him because she had no other choice? Normally, she was supposed to have three students, not just two… since years, they told her it was bad and she should take a new one but she was really harsh and most of the others students refused to train with her.

They always find something…

And often, they just supposed that Eraqus and Xehanort were just mad at this point…

“I’m glad to be able to train with both of you,” Yen Sid smiled as he got up, still his bad on his shoulder.

He put his hand on the bag and Xehanort swore that the toy moved.

But it must be coming from him and nothing else. The toy was quite frightening with its big eyes just on him.

“So we’re here for that?” Xehanort asked.

“Yes. We have to train with your new comrade. I need to see how this fit between all of you. Move your asses now! Bag down! Eraqus, do it yourself, obviously.”

Eraqus reddened again and he walked to the wall to put down his bag, as much as Xehanort. As his friend was untying his hairs to tie it them better, he turned toward their Master.

“Keyblade or not?”

“Keyblade!” Rokami commanded.

“From where are you coming?” Eraqus asked.

The man turned his head to him. “Radiant Garden.”

“I never heard about it before,” Eraqus replied.

Xehanort moved away, summoning his Keyblade and letting his friend talking with that older man, almost as old as Rokami…

“And yet, it’s a really beautiful World. I wish you could see him. From where are you?”

Eraqus shook his head. “Always been there,” he replied. “Xeha’ is from Destiny Islands. It’s a really short Wo…”

“I know it,” Yen Sid replied.

“You do? Xeha’ will be happy to know that! I hope you’ll become friend with him. He’s really sweet… when you know him well,” he said with a little sigh.

“I’ll do my best then. Can we?” Yen Sid asked.

Eraqus nodded. It was better to start now. Just before Rokami would become mad…


End file.
